you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
