He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
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I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
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She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
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