walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Naked Twister starts at high noon
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
