i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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