If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize