Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
