he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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