he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
