He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
