Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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