do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
