Welp...herpes.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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