I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
