dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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