she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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