Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
