Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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