well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
