I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
