I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
