I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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