It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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