i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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