My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
