just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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