Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I enjoy the company of your penis
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