just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
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he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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