Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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