You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize