Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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