I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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