Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
