The brown eye won't let me do that either.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
