R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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