Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
My vagina is very pro this idea
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
