I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
