Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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