I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
the day after is always just damage control
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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