If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize