Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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