i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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