She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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