Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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