evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
