Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
