I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
