One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
