so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
