do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Dicks are not precious.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
