Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Randomize
