How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize