he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
