He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
