Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
