i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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