And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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