Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
