Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
